At dawn, we met
At dawn, we met
by sa.re
We went down into the silent garden.
Dawn is the time when nothing breathes, the hour of silence.
Everything is transfixed, only the light moves.
Leonora Carrington
Dawn is the time when nothing breathes, the hour of silence.
Everything is transfixed, only the light moves.
Leonora Carrington
Nie Mingjue was not supposed to be on duty today. But as usual it was all Huaisang's fault. If there is ever anything out of routine or just plain bizarre then Mingjue can safely blame it on his scheming little brother's head. As he pushed his feet into the comfortable shoes that he kept particularly for eight hour night shifts, his mind supplied the reason for his current predicament.
"Da-ge! Please! I couldn't make it to our one year anniversary last year and it made A-cheng so sad. You know how he is. He will never talk about what hurts him. I made a reservation in this amazing restaurant and I have everything planned but I completely forgot about the night shift! Please, da-ge! I will never ask you for anything ever again. Please cover my shift. Please!"
If Mingjue had not put his hand on Huaisang’s mouth, he was sure Huaisang would have kept babbling and begging until he agreed. Of course Mingjue agreed. He had never been able to refuse anything to Huaisang. Consequently, a very grateful and happy Huaisang had left Mingjue's apartment to celebrate the second anniversary with his boyfriend, Jiang Cheng. Meanwhile Mingjue had resignedly packed some snacks, shrugged on a worn leather jacket, his helmet and the keys to his bike.
Honestly Mingjue did not mind working. His vacation was over and he was supposed to join next week anyway. It's okay to start early. It was not like he had a significant other waiting for him.
"Oh! Hello, Mingjue!" A surprised Luo Qingyang, the head nurse of the hospital, said when he approached the nurse's station, "I thought you were coming in next week."
"Yes, I was supposed to but Huaisang had something important to do so I am covering his shift." Mingjue said apologetically, reaching for the reports of the patients on the floor.
Luo Qingyang frowned disapprovingly, "Your little brother takes too much advantage of you."
Mingjue laughed, "Of course he does! I am used to it. Besides, I don’t mind. Tonight is really important for him though. It's not like I have anything important to do." Mingjue shrugged. Qingyang shook her head at his easy dismissal.
"How was Peru? Did you get to see everything?"
"Oh yes, it was brilliant. Just what I needed." Mingjue said, smiling softly.
"Hmm, it sure looks like you enjoyed yourself. You seem much more…relaxed." Qingyang said, eyeing Mingjue's perfectly tan skin, the shirt of his scrubs strained across his wide shirt and the deep, dark circles under his eyes weren't there anymore. Traveling alone had done Nie Mingjue good.
Qingyang could still remember a month ago when Mingjue had walked out of that operation room. If his pale and withdrawn face had not been a clue to his worsening physical and mental condition then his staggering steps had cemented the fact that some drastic measures were necessary. With her usual efficiency, Luo Qingyang had convinced Mingjue (with the help of Huaisang who was on the verge of a meltdown himself) that he needed a break. She had told him to go on a vacation for a month, at least. Mingjue, at that time, did not have the energy to put up any arguments. He had packed up his bags and left.
Qingyang shook her head to dispel the gloomy images. She studied Mingjue, who was reading through the reports. "How's A-qing?" She asked carefully.
Mingjue grinned, "She is doing great! She won a marathon the other day at a school event. Xiao Xingchen sent me a picture of her with the medal. She is eager to show it to me when I go next weekend to have dinner with them."
Qingyang let out a quiet breath, the tension on her shoulders lifted.
“I’m glad to hear that she is doing well.”
The brutal attack on the couple and their adopted daughter had put everyone in the hospital on the edge. But it had struck Mingjue the hardest. Qingyang knew that if A-qing had died on the operation table then it would have broken something fundamental in Mingjue. She was so glad that the little girl had survived and so had her fathers-Xiao Xingchen and Song Zichen. The world had so few good people that it was tantamount to keep as many of them alive and safe as possible.
“Mingjue-ge!” A cherry greeting resounded the empty hall. The woman rushed towards the station just as Mingjue stepped aside and nodded. She pouted, Mingjue never allows her to hug him!
“Wang Lingjiao!” Luo Qingyang said irritably, “Lower your voice!”
“Sorry, sorry. I’m so excited to see Mingjue-ge!” Wang Lingjiao smiled up at him, looking not the least bit sorry.
“Hello, Wang Lingjiao.” Mingjue greeted indifferently.
“I’m so glad you are back, Mingjue-ge. You look amazing. Are you free tomorrow night? We can catch up with a few drinks!” Lingjiao asked coyly, causally pushing her chest against his arms.
Mingjue immediately stepped back with a look of panic briefly flashing over his face.
“No, I um...I need to unpack and ah...catch up with Huaisang! So no, I can’t.”
“That’s fine. How about the next day? I am free the entire week, Mingjue-ge.” Lingjiao said, licking her lips as her eyes remained fixed on a steadily alarmed Mingjue.
“This is quite enough, Wang Ligjiao.” Lou Qingyang interrupted bluntly, “Write up your reports, sign off and go home. Mingjue needs to start his shift.”
Wang Lingjiao shot her a resentful look and reluctantly did as asked. Throwing Mingjue a last lecherous look, she walked away.
Mingjue breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you so much.”
Qingyang snorted, “That woman never knows how to quit. Don’t worry, I will do something about her behaviour.”
Mingjue smiled, amused at the serious expression on Lou Qingyang’s face. She had never stood by when anything she believed to be wrong occurred within her domain.
“Well, I will get started. See you in the morning.” He waved at her and headed off.
“I am glad to see you back and well, Mingjue.” He heard her quiet voice echo in the empty hall. He smiled and slowly answered, “Me too.”
***
He started his round through the corridor of the second floor, which was occupied by babies and toddlers. Mingjue used to avoid night shifts because he had loved being with the children in the morning when they are awake and active. He used to love their little hands tugging on his pants, making him bend down to their level so they could shyly tell them their latest secret discoveries. Even the boisterous ones, with a little too much energy, following him around with sparkly eyes and asking him too many rapid fire questions; he had reveled in it.
But after what happened to the almost devastated family of A-qing, he just couldn’t bring up his previous energy. The strong, determined and courageous little girl had changed him, irrevocably. To say that the incident had caused an existential crisis would be an understatement.
It was hard to believe that a month had passed and steadily Mingjue was returning to normal. Or as normal as possible. He quickly wanted to adjust himself back into the monotonous albeit happy life he had in this city. He wanted nothing more.
A small cry broke him out of his thoughts. The crying continued after a hiccup. It was not too loud yet in the utter silence the sound was piercing. Must be a kid having a nightmare, Mingjue thought worriedly. He lengthened his stride to reach the room at the end of the corridor. It was a private room and as Mingjue went to grasp the knob, he realized that the door was already open. He pushed it open further and stopped dead in his tracks.
Inside the room the toddler’s sobs had quieted down into occasional whimpers and slowly seemed to have drifted off to sleep. The person, whose back was to Mingjue, held the toddler gently while singing a quiet lullaby. Mingjue stared at the man with long dark hair, falling to the middle of his back. He was wearing a plain white shirt and dark pants. Mingjue caught a glimpse of long, pale fingers running softly through the child's hair. Even without facing him, Mingjue knew that he was beautiful.
The melody the person was singing faded into silence and he sighed, turning slowly to put the child on the bed. Mingjue watched as the long hair spilled over his shoulders and hid the face he was desperate to see. His eyes followed as those long, thin fingers traced the child’s hair and gently pressed a kiss on the forehead. The person stood up and his gaze fell on Mingjue. His head snapped towards him and finally, Mingjue could see the face he had breathlessly waited to glimpse at. And he was right.
He was beautiful. Quite beyond words, really.
His deep eyes were blown wide open in surprise and it was impossible for Mingjue to form a coherent thought. He did not know how long they stood there, staring at each other, because for Mingjue it could be an eternity or a mere second. Both seem too little to him. Stopping the time would be the most desirable instance for Mingjue but then again- would only looking at him suffice?
“Hello.” The man said softly, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips had Mingjue utterly captivated.
“Hello.” Mingjue replied hoarsely.
The man pressed his pretty lips together to suppress a smile.
“I am Lan Xichen.” He offered with a hand stretched out towards Mingjue.
“Nie Mingjue.” He blurted out, clasping the slender hand into his rough one, as every corner of his mind whispered, reverently and repeatedly- “Lan Xichen. Xichen. Xichen.”
Ignoring the creepy echo in his head, he stated the obvious, “I’m the nurse on duty. Do you need any help?”
Of course he doesn’t, you idiot! His mind screeched at him. He winced, for a second all he wanted to do was to rush back to his apartment and hide under a mountain of blankets.
“Nie Mingjue, thank you for your offer.” Lan Xichen carefully spelled out his name and the sound made Mingjue a little weak in the knees.
“I might need your help soon enough.” Lan Xichen added as he threw a glance back at the toddler, sleeping contently.
"A-yuan is usually not a fussy child. I believe the asthma attack scared him more than I imagined." He said, staring worriedly at the child.
"Asthma attack? Was it his first experience?"
Lan Xichen nodded.
"That must have been hard for him. May I check his vitals? It will ease your mind if nothing else." Mingjue offered, stepping further into the room.
Lan Xichen sent him a grateful look and made space for him to work.
As Mingjue went through his usual routine, he started to unconsciously note things about Lan Xichen. Lan Xichen was almost as tall as him, he was slender but his rolled up shirt revealed well-muscled arms so Mingjue conjectured that he was pretty fit. There was also this fragrance around Lan Xichen which scrambled Mingjue's senses. Damn, he had never been this affected by anyone before. It could be because his prolonged dry spell had magnified his reaction to any desirable candidate around him.
But no, Mingjue knew that his visceral reaction towards Lan Xichen was more than pure physical desire. Lan Xichen was beautiful, yes. But the hunger inside Mingjue sprung from a need to know him. To know what makes Lan Xichen laugh, frown and cry. He wanted quiet nights at his couch, watching movies while wrapped around each other. He wanted to make him breakfast and see what he looked like when he woke up.
Mingjue just wanted.
It should scare him. Strangely enough it didn't. The hunger and longing crawled into his being and it settled comfortably right under his skin. It seemed to be right where it belongs. That the lack or absence of something, which he could never understand or name, has finally been filled.
Mingjue had instantly noted how much the child looked like Lan Xichen. A glance at the chart revealed his details to be: LAN YUAN. AGE- 3.
Mingjue sneaked a quick glance at Lan Xichen's fingers; there was no ring, not even an indention of one. So a single father then. Mingjue was perfectly fine with the idea. Since he considered himself to have raised his troublesome younger brother alone.
"He looks fine. There is nothing to worry about." He reassured Lan Xichen, making the other sag in relief and slide down on a chair.
They were silent for a moment. Lan Xichen was staring at his son while Mingjue tried and failed at not staring at him. Abruptly, Lan Xichen looked at him, smiled and asked, "Do you mind some company, Nie Mingjue?"
Mingjue mutely shook his head.
"I can't go too far away from A-yuan. Is it okay if we stay within sight of the room?" He requested, getting up and brushing off non existent creases on his pants.
Mingjue nodded.
"Great then. Let's take a walk." Smiling widely, Lan Xichen brushed past him to open the door indicating Mingjue to go before him. With his sides tingling like a remnant of a colourful and massive firework, Mingjue stepped into the corridor.
Lan Xichen carefully closed the door just enough to leave a thin slit to peek through. Satisfied, he followed Mingjue as the latter directed him to the large windows nearby. Plopping down on the visitor's bench, they sat beside each other, comfortably watching the city cling to the last vestiges of sleep.
"What is it like being a nurse?" Lan Xichen asked abruptly. Mingjue blinked at the question. Turning to look at him, he found Lan Xichen with his head tilted to a side, his eyes sparkling in curiosity.
"It's a difficult job, definitely not for everyone. But it's also rewarding. The ability to help others when they are in their most vulnerable state. To be a pillar of strength when the patients waver. I guess, I like the idea of being the uncomplicated and unconditional support to someone. The doctors have their own job to do, which is amazing in itself. But I like to believe that as a nurse I have less barriers to cross when I am trying to reach my patients." Mingjue let out a self-conscious laugh and added, "Sorry for babbling."
Lam Xichen shook his, "Please, I want to listen. What you said is..." He paused, looking for words, "Beautiful. Inspiring." He looked Nie Mingjue in the eyes and smiled at him gently.
Mingjue could feel the heat of embarrassment crawling over his face. Thankfully, he was not the kind of person who would show any physical reaction so the only indication was him avoiding Lan Xichen's gaze.
"What about you? What's your calling?" Mingjue asked in a way of avoiding any further inquiries from Lan Xichen.
"Me? My calling, you said?" Lan Xichen seemed surprised and then stared off into space, contemplating. "Fortunately, I think, my calling and what I do are the same thing. I am a teacher. A music teacher to be precise."
"A teacher. That suits you." Mingjue murmured, glancing at Lan Xichen who was looking down at his hands.
"I guess. I mean, I was almost not a teacher. I almost became an actor or a model, I can't quite remember. But I think I made the right decision in the end." He finished, twisting his fingers and biting his lips.
"It must have been a dilemma for you." Mingjue said, eyeing his nervous reactions. It was cute. Without thinking he placed his hand on Lan Xichen’s hand. The moment he became aware of it, he started to withdraw but Lan Xichen had slipped his fingers through his and grabbed hold of him.
Playing with Mingjue's fingers, Xichen nodded. "Yes, it was a difficult decision to make. At that time, I needed to get out of my childhood home and I wanted to take my little brother with me. Living with my parents was… difficult."
Mingjue squeezed his hand to provide some measure of comfort, Xichen threw a quick smile at him in response.
"If I had taken the offer that the scouting agent presented me with, then maybe I could have made money a lot quicker and probably have a more glamorous life." Lan Xichen laughed, "But I decided to call my Uncle and ask for help. I was very surprised when he dropped everything and came to visit us the next day." Lan Xichen's eyes softened and melted into a dark liquid gold and Mingjue watched, fascinated, at the different shades of his eyes. “My Uncle is a headmaster of an exclusive private school and when he offered me a job, I took it without hesitation. Not that I wasn’t qualified for it!” Lan Xichen looked visibly distressed at how immoral he sounded and Mingjue melted into a puddle wondering just how perfect and unconsciously kind a person can be.
“I am sure you were.” Mingjue voiced steadily, making Lan Xichen smile bashfully.
“Um...I didn’t even realize how much I would come to love teaching. I could also watch and encourage Wangji to follow his own dreams of becoming a musician.” The smile on Lan Xichen’s face was so loving that it made Mingjue’s heart clench.
“I understand the difficulty in the decision you had to make.” Mingjue said after a beat of silence. Lan Xichen made a questioning sound.
“I almost didn’t become a nurse either.” Mingjue said, his eyes darkening as the flood of memory filtered through his mind. Lan Xichen squeezed his hand, worriedly.
“My father owned a security company. He worked really hard for it since he wanted to leave it behind for me and my little brother. But he died in an accident and we found ourselves in the middle of a hostile takeover by one of the rival companies. I wanted to protect my father’s legacy and I knew doing that would mean taking drastic measures which would change something in me. Fortunately, with some help, I came to realize that my priority was protecting my little brother and to do that I did not have to forsake my long cherished dreams.”
“To be a nurse?” Lan Xichen asked softly. Mingjue smiled and nodded.
“It was hard but I managed to put myself through the nursing school and my little brother decided to follow me.” Mingjue rolled his eyes, “In fact this was supposed to be his shift but it was his second year anniversary with his boyfriend. So here I am.”
Lan Xichen grinned and shook his head.
“The things we do for little brothers.” Mingjue said with a long, suffering sigh.
“Indeed the things we do for our cute little brothers.” Lan Xichen agreed gravely.
They looked at each other and then in unison burst into laughter.
The laughter slowly died down.
Lan Xichen was tracing his thumb on Mingjue’s knuckle when he looked at him and said, “I am glad you are covering your little brother’s shift.”
Mingjue stopped chuckling and said, “Me too.”
“It's strange. I...um.. It's hard for me to talk about myself so frankly with anyone. With you, Mingjue, I don’t know how it’s so easy.” Xichen’s eyes were glittering and Mingjue leaned closer to whisper, “Me too.”
They were sitting on the bench, bathed in the glow of the warm overhead artificial light mixed with strains of early morning glow slipping through the glass window. Lost in each other, they were carved into the moment as if it was created just for them. A pocket in time-out of time.
Slowly, returning to reality, Xichen murmured about checking on his son and walked off, as if in a haze. Mingjue watched the long straight line of Xichen’s back and marvelled how one decision, one choice, can change anyone’s destiny. For good or bad was something only the future will decide but Mingjue was sure that meeting Xichen was for the best possible reasons.
Mingjue pulled out the stashed chocolates from his pocket and as Xichen returned to sit beside him, he offered him one. The latter accepted it gratefully.
“I wasn’t supposed to stay with A-yuan but Wangji is not in the country and a-Yuan’s dad had a really important appointment to attend.” Xichen said, chuckling at the image of his distressed brother-in-law, Wei Wuxian. Poor man was almost on the verge of crying at his baby being hurt and him having to attend to his PhD defense. Xichen had made sure to calm him down, assure him that he will take care of A-yuan and no, he is not the worst father in the world.
“Ah." Mingjue was confused for a moment. He gathered his speculations coherently and decided that maybe Xichen was separated from his husband-the 'dad' he spoke of-and they shared little Lan Yuan's custody. Before he could ask him directly to confirm his assumptions, Xichen asked him another question and soon Nie Mingjue had completely forgotten about everything else.
They chatted and laughed amicably for a while, their conversation swung from professional mess-ups to the incidents related to their little brothers. They exchanged long winding stories about the weird patients and odd parent-teacher meetings. It led to a point where the gap between their seats diminished and they found themselves leaning against each other. The feeling was so casual, even habitual, that it felt as though they have been doing this for a long time-sharing memories and stories with each other. It was like the time before they had met, today, had been in a pause in a series of continued meetings. It was a strange, strange feeling for both of them but they did not dwell on it.
The first sublime ray of sunshine cast upon Xichen’s dark locks, and Mingjue wondered if he had previously thought him to be beautiful then now, at this moment, Xichen looked beyond normal conversational words. Perhaps poetry might do him more justice, Mingjue needed to steal some of Huaisang’s treasured collections. He desperately needed to build up a vocabulary just so he could begin to shape his feelings about Xichen into some earthly language.
“....Peru must have been a dream.” Xichen exclaimed, blinking as the sun rays dipped into his eyes making them glow like starburst.
“Yes...yes it was.” Mingjue said hoarsely, it was difficult to talk- to think.
Xichen hummed, turning his head so that Mingjue’s eyes and the sun could only graze at his side profile. Tucking his hair behind his ear, he asked, “Did you learn to speak Spanish?”
“A little bit. Just enough to get by.”
“That’s great! I believe learning more about the places you go to, even for a vacation, is really important. How long did you stay there for?”
“About a month.”
“A month?” Xichen asked, his eyebrow raised, “That’s a long vacation. I can’t remember the last time I have been on one so long.”
“Yes. It was the longest vacation I have ever taken. It was necessary.” Mingjue said, spelling each word out carefully, focusing on the way his hands turned Xichen’s hand around to play in the sun.
“Oh?” Xichen asked cautiously.
“It was either go to Peru, anywhere really, or have a complete nervous breakdown.” At Xichen’s gasp, Mingjue corrected himself, “I mean the meltdown happened anyway but I was in a safer environment. Under the sun and among strangers, I felt better. My boss insisted on taking as much time as I needed to get a hold of myself, so did Huaisang.”
“What happened? If you want to talk about it, of course. You don’t have to tell me anything if it's too much.” Xichen said tentatively, his brows creasing with concern. Mingjue brushed his fingers on Xichen’s forehead to smooth the frown away, and watched the fingers journey through one side of Xichen’s face before falling on his lap.
“You heard about the Yueyang Chang Clan?”
Xichen paled and nodded shakily.
“Well, the killer’s last victim was a family of three. I knew them because the little girl, A-qing, had a prolonged illness and I have been taking care of her for a long time in this hospital. When they were attacked, I...uh..it was bad. There was very little hope of their survival, least of all A-qing. But she is a strong girl and not the kind to give up without a fight. She is okay now. Her fathers too. At least as okay as they can be.” Mingjue reassured Xichen, whose eyes had turned glassy.
“I know about it.” Xichen whispered, a shudder racked his entire frame. Mingjue frowned and started rubbing his arm. Xichen took a deep breath and shook his head.
“I am sorry that you and A-qing’s family had to go through it.” Xichen said, leaning into Mingjue’s space and gingerly wrapping his arms around him. Mingjue’s eyes widened, his body slowly relaxing into Xichen’s hold as he held onto Xichen's waist. A fresh fragrance of something flowery wafted from where Mingjue had buried his face into Xichen’s hair and he breathed in, at peace.
A beeping noise had them break their embrace. Mingjue checked on his watch and tapped to switch off the alarm. He looked up at Xichen.
“My shift is almost over.” He slowly stood up while Xichen began to stretch his arms, "I can check up on A-yuan for you."
"Would you?" Xichen asked gratefully and at Mingjue's nod, he smiled widely at him, his eyes crinkled.
A smiling Xichen in the sun was a tad bit too blinding for Mingjue to handle. After blinking several times, he followed Xichen back into the boy's room. Lan Yuan was sleeping soundly, neatly tucked into bed.
Xichen watched as Mingjue checked over his nephew. Mingjue was tall and tough, and you would imagine a man who looks like him to be rough or coarse. But Xichen now knew that Mingjue had the softest eyes and an even softer heart. He had held onto Xichen's hand throughout their conversation so gently, and the way he had touched his face so reverently. Xichen didn't think anyone had ever looked at him the way Mingjue did. His stomach clenched and he had to bite his lips so that he would not start proclaiming his undying love to Mingjue.
Xichen was in love with Mingjue.
Yes, this was the first time he had ever seen him. Yes, he did not know everything about Mingjue but Xichen knew enough to understand the core of what and who Mingjue is. Because being with Mingjue felt right. Xichen finally understood Wangji's steadfast notion about Wuxian.
"He is okay, Xichen." Mingjue whispered, standing almost in front of him, making Xichen startle and he could feel the heat turning his ears red in embarrassment. Thank goodness, he had long hair!
"Let's talk outside?" Xichen offered desperately. Mingjue seemed amused at seeing him flustered. He nodded and they walked outside again.
Xichen will ask Mingjue out. He is not going to let this amazing, perfect and kind man walk out of his life.
"Are you free-"
"Would you like-"
"Xichen-ge!"
Three voices of varying volume sounded at the same time. Before Nie Mingjue and Lan Xichen could ask each other the most obvious question, a blur of black and red slammed into Xichen's side. In reflex, Xichen grabbed hold of the person, who was slowly cutting off his breathing with the chokehold. No sooner had Mingjue stepped forward to support the staggering Xichen, the person had pulled himself out of the embrace.
"Xichen-ge! I am so sorry, I left you and A-yuan alone! I am a horrible father!" Wei Wuxian's eyes glistened with unshed tears. Xichen sighed, patting his brother-in-law on the head, he began the practice routine of calming him down.
"Mingjue!" Xichen saw a nurse gesturing for Mingjue to come over. Mingjue threw him a last glance before walking towards the woman.
She must be the boss, Xichen mused.
By the time Xichen was able to assure Wuxian and update him on A-yuan's condition, Mingjue was gone. He frantically searched for him and his eyes landed on the Nurse, Mingjue's boss. Xichen hurried towards where she was talking to another woman and turning to leave.
"Wait!" Xichen said loudly.
The Head Nurse turned and frowned at him. "Sir, please lower your voice."
"I am so sorry." Xichen bowed and questioned, "Do you know where I can find Nie Mingjue?"
The woman raised her eyebrows in response. "May I ask why, Sir?"
"I really need to speak to him." Xichen replied earnestly, "I have to ask him something important. Can you please help me find him?"
Luo Qingyang eyed the man carefully and wondered why he looked so familiar. He was good looking, sure, but that's not it.
"Mianmian?" A very familiar voice asked from behind the man. Wei Wuxian peeked out of the man's shoulder, his face brightened happily as he exclaimed again, "Mianmian! It's really you! How have you been?"
In an instant Qingyang recognized the man, ignoring the sticky questions from Wei Wuxian, she questioned, "You must be Lan Xichen, Lan Wangji's brother?”
Lan Xichen blinked and nodded.
"Nie Mingjue's shift is over so if you are quick enough then you might find him exiting the building, at the employee parking lot, in about fifteen to twenty minutes." Qingyang narrated, her eyes steady on Xichen, who smiled brightly at her. Thanking her several times, Xichen rushed off in a hurry.
"Eh? Why was Xichen-ge asking for da-ge? He was talking about Huaisang's older brother, right?" Wei Wuxian asked curiously.
"Yes, he was. It's a really small world." Qingyang said knowingly.
***
Mingjue wanted to slap himself, instead of doing that he slammed the door of his locker hard enough for the noise to echo in the empty room. Thankfully, he had not put too much force to make a dent on its surface. His hand tightening on the keys of his bike, he wondered when he would stop running away. There was no need for him to hide. Xichen seemed to have liked him, truly. If he had stayed until Xichen had finished talking to his ex then he could have asked him out.
But no, all the negative thoughts had coloured his vision and he had been unable to see beyond the thick film of defeat. He had signed off and mechanically grabbed his stuff to head home.
His mind churned and his skin prickled at the emotional upheavals bristling inside him. He pushed open the door leading to the parking lot when he saw Lan Xichen, wearing a thick grey coat kicking at a pebble. Mingjue came to a stop in front of him.
"I gave my car to Wuxian so he could take A-yuan home." Xichen said abruptly, his voice was muffled as a fierce wind blew the collar of his coat, covering his mouth.
"I can give you a ride home." Mingjue said, all his tensions vanished and his shoulders loosened.
"I would like that." Xichen said shyly.
Mingjue directed Xichen towards the employee locker room in the parking lot, to get some of the spare gears he kept because of his whimsical little brother.
Handing him the spare helmet, Mingjue casually said, "I'm glad that your ex-husband will be able to take A-yuan home."
For a moment Mingjue saw Xichen look confused before his eyes widened and he choked into thin air. Mingjue felt a flash of worry for him.
"Ex-husband?!" Xichen squeaked. Mingjue frowned, nodding.
"Wuxian is not my ex! He is my brother-in-law! Wait, did you think A-yuan was my son?" At Mingjue's dazed nod, Xichen gaped, "A-yuan is my nephew! My brother and Wuxian adopted him as a baby."
Mingjue blinked and thought, wow what a misunderstanding. Wait. Wei Wuxian. Now why was the name so familiar? Oh god, how did Mingjue forget about the Troublesome Trio! He wanted to slap himself on the forehead.
"My little brother is dating Wei Wuxian's brother." Mingjue stated, rubbing a hand across his face.
"Jiang Wanyin? So your brother is Nie Huaisang!" Xichen was amazed, "We live in such a small world, Mingjue."
"Indeed."
They made their way towards where Mingjue's bike was parked. As Lan Xichen situated himself behind Nie Mingjue, Mingjue asked for his address. Xichen was silent for a moment.
"Would it weird you out if I invited myself along to your house, Mingjue? I don't want to go home." He asked, his voice trembled and his face flushed.
Mingjue swallowed audibly and his voice was gravelly when he said, "No, I would love having you over." Stay forever, his mind whispered. "Hold on tight then. My place is a little far from here."
***
The journey was an exquisite torture for both of them. Mingjue could feel the entire length of Xichen pressed firmly against him. His warmth, his breath and the dulcet cadence of his voice close to Mingjue's ears; it was…everything and more.
They reached his home, a sleek apartment complex with minimal but tasteful furnishing.
"Welcome to my home." Mingjue had said, warmly, the moment he had opened the door to let Xichen pass.
"Why don't you freshen up? I will reheat some food and then we can watch a movie and eat?" Mingjue asked, eyeing the drooping eyes of Xichen. "Or if you are too tired, you can just go to bed."
Xichen shook his head and insisted on Mingjue to show him the washroom. Mingjue went back to the kitchen to put the food inside the microwave to heat it up and suddenly thought of clothes. Mingjue headed to his closet, looking for something that would fit Xichen. Laying down the clothes on the bed, he let Xichen know of them.
Mingjue put on a mindless comedy movie in low volume, placing the food at the table, he waited for Xichen to appear. Xichen entered the room a few minutes later wearing a white t-shirt, which was a little too big for him, and a pair of boxer shorts. Xichen helped himself with the food and curled into the depth of the couch. In the entire apartment, it seemed to Xichen, the couch was the only odd one out. It was soft, old and so comfortable that he wanted to drag blankets, pillows and make a nest right there.
They eat while watching the movie, chuckling occasionally. With the credits rolling, Mingjue could feel Xichen looking at him. Raising an eyebrow at him, he asked what was wrong.
"You really thought that I had a son and an ex?" Xichen asked, "That didn't change…things for you?"
"Change things?" Mingjue repeated, turning to face him fully, he continued, "Are you speaking about my regard for you? Then no, nothing can change that."
Mingjue kept his gaze steady on Xichen, who was slowly turning red.
"I don't wish to scare you, Xichen. But I have never felt so…much for anyone before and I don't want to waste anymore time. I was stupid when I didn't wait for you in the hospital but I tend to learn from my mistakes. If you are not currently dating anyone then would you please consider being with me? I would understand if you say no, I-" Mingjue's speech was interrupted by a red faced Xichen who had started shaking his head vehemently.
"No, no! I mean I want to! That is, I would love to be with you. Anywhere you are. I.. I feel the same too. And I am not scared, Mingjue." He grabbed Mingjue's hand, squeezing them. Mingjue used the grip and tugged him forward into his arms. Xichen tumbled into his lap, his legs curled either side of Mingjue's hips, his hands clinging to the back of Mingjue's shirt and his face firmly pressed under his throat. Mingjue was running his hands through Xichen's hair whispering, "Thank you."
It was so soothing-Mingjue's big warm hands across his back-that Xichen almost fell asleep. When Mingjue cajoled him to wake up and sleep in the guest bedroom, Xichen refused to let him go. So Mingjue, with a pretense of reluctance, happily stood to take him to his own room. Carrying a half asleep Xichen in his arms, Mingjue managed to switch off the TV and lights of the living room.
Shutting his bedroom door, he gently put Xichen in his bed, tucking him under the blankets. Silently, Mingjue readied himself for bed and slipped into the covers behind Xichen. Keeping space between their bodies, Mingjue stared at Xichen's back. The past few hours have been nothing short of unreal to him. Xichen shifted, turned and rolled into his arms. Fitting himself into the lonely spaces of Mingjue's body with an unconscious ease, Xichen fell asleep, satisfied.
Mingjue remained awake for a while longer. In those moments as he was playing with Xichen's hair, one clear ray of sunshine landed on the empty space on the other side of the bed, which Xichen had left behind. The dark curtains on his window only allowed for that bit of transgression, nothing more could or would slither it's way to breach the small heaven. Mingjue slightly tightened his hold on Xichen and thanked whoever or whatever decided to give him something so precious; something he had not even known he needed.
The sound of Xichen's breath was his lullaby and it lulled Mingjue into a deep sleep.
While the people in the city rushed towards their own destination, Lan Xichen and Nie Mingjue slept.
Safely.
Peacefully.
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